Phase 1: Initial Steps
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During the 'no contact' phase, it would be easy to spend the entire month locked up in your house with a box of kleenex. Sadness and isolation are natural feelings in the wake of a breakup, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. But if you want to get your ex back, you can use the no-contact period to show your ex how easily you can move on and live life without them.
Now, you may be asking yourself how on earth it will help your situation to show your ex that you're fine with the breakup and happy without them in your life. But in reality, it's pretty straightforward: if you move on quickly and aren't affected by the breakup, your ex will think you've got a ton of other guys or girls waiting in line hoping for a date with you. Showing your ex you don't need them is essentially a demonstration of your 'status' or 'value' in society.
Think about it: if you were rich, famous, beautiful, and smart, you probably wouldn't have much trouble landing a date, would you? I doubt Brad Pitt or Megan Fox spend many nights alone unless they choose to. So if you show to your ex that you're not particularly fazed by the breakup, your ex will probably assume (either consciously or subconsciously) that you're a desirable person who won't be alone for long.
When your ex begins to realize that you're not affected by the breakup, they will begin to second-guess their decision to let you go... they'll ask themselves, "did I make the right decision? If my ex can move on so quickly and replace me in a heartbeat, maybe I made a mistake and let a real gem walk away."
As I already mentioned, your ex will second-guess their decision to break up with you once you begin to assert your 'value'. But it's not enough just to show emotional stability in the wake of your breakup... you also need ot make sure you go out and live an active social life during the no-contact period.
I realize that going to a bar with friends may not be what you want to do right now, but trust me, it will help you in several ways. To begin with, spending time with friends and family helps take your mind off your ex. Secondly, going out and living an active social life without your ex shows that you're completely capable of living independently, and that you're neither clingy nor needy.
As I'll discuss in my article on making your ex jealous, going on a few casual dates during the no-contact phase is an excellent idea. If you move on quickly and your ex sees that you've been able to replace them so quickly, it will only re-inforce the idea that they've made a mistake in breaking up with you.
Even going out and living an active social life (trust me, your ex will know if you're going out and having a good time without them!) can make a big difference in the way your ex perceives you. They'll be expecting you to hide in your room crying, so if you're happily partying every night, it will be unexpected for your ex.
Showing your ex that they've made a critical error in breaking up with you is an extremely important of the overall process of winning them back. It's also an area where many people struggle. If you're not entirely confident in your ability to demonstrate 'value' to your ex, grab a copy of Brad Browning's "Ex Factor Guide" program. Brad has dedicated several chapters of his book to the concept, and provides dozens of real-world ideas on how to make your ex second-guess their choice.